My Korean neighbor has a pornographic skateboard. This wouldn't bother me too much, except for the fact that it is almost always on display outside his apartment door, which happens to be right across from my apartment door. This means it is the first thing we see every time we leave our apartment.
He probably views this possession of his as completely unremarkable and innocuous, since pornography is much more common in Korea (glad I don't live there!). But I find it offensive. So when I ran into him yesterday as he was outside smoking (and if it's socially acceptable in Korea to smoke as much as he does, that's another reason I'm glad I don't live there), I politely asked him if he could do us a favor and keep his skateboard inside, as it is offensive to us. He nodded and said "Yeah, alright," so I assumed the issue was closed.
However, the next time I went outside, the notorious pornboard was again waiting for me, and has remained there since. Because we have been on friendly terms with our neighbor and his fiancee--we have had dinner with them once and chat briefly whenever we see them--I would like to think that he is not deliberately trying to offend me by leaving it there after telling me he would remove it. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he just didn't understand what I was asking, since his English leaves something to be desired. But if that is the case, what should I do now? If I ask him again, he probably still won't understand what I am talking about.
I have tried to ignore it and not let it get to me. I know there are lots of people who live in places where pornography is all around them. There are lots of other somewhat offensive things that I encounter regularly, and I usually just ignore them. If I see an offensive ad on TV, I just change the channel (although I hardly ever watch TV anyway), or if I see an inappropriate billboard, I just forget about it. But seeing this every day has honestly started to get to me. Even the times that I anticipate it and deliberately look elsewhere, avoiding it makes me think about how much it bothers me that it's there in the first place. I find it degrading and objectifying that a photograph of some woman's body (of course it's a white woman, and of course it's only her neck down to her knees), would be carelessly plastered onto a skateboard. How can our society think it is okay to portray people as objects and then exploit them to sell products, or purchase those products to indulge in lust?
Perhaps I'm bothered by it so much because it belongs to someone whom I consider a casual friend. It's one thing to know that greedy corporations without morals or values are willing to make money by degrading women. But to know that someone I have invited to my house for dinner subscribes to this and would purchase something like that, and carelessly leave it outside his house as if it's the most insignificant thing in the world, seems more offensive.
Or maybe it's just that I have never been subjected to pornography on a daily basis before. Did I just write that?! I am being subjected to pornography on a daily basis, as is my husband and everyone who comes to my house!! Wow. And now I am questioning myself as to why it bothers me?! This is ridiculous. We should not have to put up with this!
If you have any advice as to how you would approach this, I welcome the input.
(Please note that I have known many great and wonderful Korean people and that this post is not meant to imply that I think all people in Korea accept pornography, or smoke.)
