First, is the miracle that Adam only has to defend his dissertation, and he will be completely done! This honestly seemed impossible only a few months ago.
In early summer of last year, Adam and I sat down and made a schedule of how he was going to finish his dissertation by the end of this summer. He planned to finish the literature review (a summary of previous research on the subject) by the end of October, and then progress on to the next step. That did not happen by the end of October. Or November. He got stuck and encountered some roadblocks. When we were nearing the end of winter this year, and he still wasn't done, I started to panic. I knew there was still so much more to be done after the end of the literature review.
During this time, we had been trying to attend the temple every month. It had been very difficult. It is a 90+ minute drive to the Portland temple, and Joshua often cried for much of that, regardless of how we tried to distract, entertain, or console him. Then we took turns doing initiatories, and repeated the painful trip to return home. It took up an entire Saturday, and was always stressful.
At one point, I about gave up. It felt way too hard to go every month. But I prayed about it and felt that we should still go, even if we had to take turns, so only one of us could go each month. We tried that, which was easier. However, the closer we got to this summer (when his dissertation had to be finished), the more that time felt like a huge sacrifice. He was working on his paper many of the other Saturdays. But I felt impressed that if we made the sacrifice to go to the temple, Adam would be blessed to finish his dissertation by the end of the summer.
In April, he finally finished the literature review and had his proposal meeting. By this time, he already had a job offer at the University of Arizona, so we knew he absolutely had to finish by the end of the summer. He had 3 months to do what we had planned to spend 9 months on. It felt so impossible, when every other part of the process had taken more than twice as long as planned.
But of course, the Lord came through. After working almost every waking moment for several weeks, Adam finished his last draft and submitted it to his committee for review near the end of June. He has scheduled his defense for 10 days before we move, which will hopefully give him just enough time to make any changes they recommend. Since his proposal, he has encountered a few challenges, but everything has gone so much faster than we expected. Things have fallen into place and come together so well - clearly with divine assistance. Adam was able to walk at his graduation knowing that he was so close to being done. I am so grateful that we made the effort to go to the temple each month, in spite of the sacrifice, and I am grateful for the Lord's help with getting this paper done!
The second blessing we have experienced is in the form a beautiful missionary experience. One day I was outside and noticed a man watching the children play on the playground. I introduced myself and spoke with him. He hold me that he was visiting from China on a research assignment for 3 months. He mentioned how much he loves children and how he hopes to have some children of his own someday. I only spoke with him for a few minutes, but I immediately felt that he was a very good person, and that the Lord wanted me to share the gospel with him.
I invited him to participate in a barbeque with some of our neighbors, and we started talking about experiences he should have while in America. I recommended that he attend a Christian church, and invited him to come to church with us the following Sunday. He accepted, and surprisingly, came to church with us for 6 consecutive weeks before he had to return to China. Although he declined the invitation to meet with the missionaries, he downloaded the lds tools app on his phone by himself, read about church history on mormon.org, began reading the scriptures, and started talking to his wife (who was still in China) on the phone about how good he felt when he attended church. He even found out where church meetings are held in his city in China, so he could take her to them upon his return.
We answered many questions about various gospel topics, and it became clear that the Spirit was working in his life. I gave him scriptures in English and Chinese. As we got to know him better, we realized what an honest, kind, caring, good person he was. We gave him rides to church and he made delicious Chinese food for us. When he finally left, it was bittersweet. Our eyes were wet with tears, and I know it was because learning about the gospel had changed his life. Unfortunately, we learned that he would not be able to attend church meetings in China after all. But I feel strongly that someday, hopefully soon, when the gospel is available in China, he will be ready for it.
It was such a beautiful experience to see the gospel working to change someone's life. Especially for someone who had never been able to experience Christianity before, the gospel truths opened his eyes to so much he had never known and answered so many questions. I have tried to share the gospel many times, and have always met with apathy or opposition. This experience made all those worth it. I wish with all my heart that everyone in the world could enjoy the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, the way I have experienced them. I know not everyone will choose to accept it, but I feel that it is my responsibility to share it with as many as I can. I am grateful that the Lord led me to someone who was willing and receptive. I hope that someday, he can experience the fullness of the gospel in his life.
Finally, there is one other blessing that has impacted me personally. For many years, I have wanted to be more involved in music. But I have been unable to make it a significant part of my life. In college, I was part of the Latter Day Sounds choir and the BYU Vocal Jazz Ensemble, but that was the extent of my musical involvement. I auditioned for other things, but had many bad auditions. There were other times when I made it into something and just couldn't fit it into my schedule. Most frequently, I simply had to pass up opportunities because I simply didn't have time. I felt strongly that I should major in business, and had to work hard to pay tuition. After graduation, I worked full-time at a good, but stressful, job, and had two time-intensive callings. When that phase ended, I had a baby, and then another. They have kept me very busy and there has been little time for music.
I was able to take voice lessons from several teachers - a few during high school and a couple more during college. I certainly learned from them, but it always felt like I was missing something. My voice did not develop the way I hoped it would, and I always felt like I was singing under my potential. At times, my heart ached for this part of myself that was almost void from my life. I would have dreams of being involved in plays or ensembles, but usually told myself that that part of my life was over. I prayed that I would someday have opportunities I felt like I had missed, but only half believed that would happen.
The only area of my life that still involved music was my church callings. I was called as the ward choir director two separate times, and I loved that calling. I learned to direct music with my heart and soul, and I loved it. It was not what I had planned to do with my talent, but I decided that since the Lord gave me all my musical ability, I had better use it the way He wanted me to. After doing this for a while, I was asked to be involved in the music for a stake play. That was a great experience. While doing that, I met a local voice teacher who is a retired opera singer. I longed to take lessons from her, but knew I could not afford it.
Then this summer, two years later, someone suggested to me that I should take lessons from this woman. I have been doing a little work recently for my sister's business, and felt like maybe I could afford lessons for the few months until we move. I wasn't sure that would be enough time to accomplish anything. But I felt something pushing me to contact her. So I did.
I was amazed. After only two lessons, I could sing like I have never been able to sing before. She was able to pinpoint a few simple things I was not doing correctly, which no teacher has ever mentioned to me before, and it entirely changed my voice. Thankfully, there were a number of other things I was already doing correctly, so the process could go quickly. There is still much progress I can make, but I finally feel like I can access what I always knew was inside. Clearly, she is a very gifted teacher, and I am very grateful to her for sharing her talent with me. But most of all, I am grateful that as a result of my service in the church, the Lord led me to this incredible opportunity.
After my first month of lessons, I began wondering if we really had the money for this. Shortly thereafter, my former employer called and asked if I would do a project for them for the first time in 18 months. I have now finished the work, and have earned enough to pay for two months of lessons. Clearly, the Lord is mindful of what I need and has blessed me with this opportunity!
I feel so strongly that He is finally blessing me with what I want because I was willing to sacrifice for what He needed me to do for so long. Because I put my family, callings, and other priorities ahead of my personal ambitions, he has led me to someone who can help me make up for lost time. I am not predicting that I will pursue a career in music or anything (ha!), but I feel like if I auditioned for many of the things I didn't make before, I could probably get in. As an added bonus, I was randomly asked to sing the national anthem at a baseball game on the 4th of July. That was the first time I have sung anywhere other than church in many years. It was a really fun opportunity.
These would probably seem like small things to many others. But it feels like a big deal to me. The end of my patriarchal blessings states that the blessings described will be fulfilled according to my faithfulness, along with the secret desires of my heart. The secret desires of my heart revolve around music, although I often wrote them off as unimportant. But the Lord knew they were important to me. I am grateful for this opportunity, but I am even more grateful for the testimony it has been to me that God is aware of what is important to me, no matter how insignificant. He recognizes the sacrifices I have made, and He is blessing me for those sacrifices.
Obviously, our family has been blessed in many ways. As I have felt apprehensive about our move to Arizona, I keep coming back to the ways the Lord has been involved in our lives recently, and I cannot deny His hand. Even regarding our move (at the end of this month!), we have been blessed with a PERFECT job for what Adam wants, we found an affordable apartment in Adam's sister's ward (and it's twice as big as the tiny one we're in right now), we found an affordable moving company that will drive our stuff there for us, various people have offered to help us, etc. I KNOW His hand is in this, and I know it's the right place for us to go. The Lord is aware of us, and I know He will continue to bless us in Arizona just as He has blessed us in Oregon. The church is true wherever we go, and with the gospel, we can be happy regardless of whatever else happens.
