Yes, this event occurred over a month ago, but I have not written anything about it until now.
What can I say? Life has been a little busy. :)
A word of caution before you begin reading: this post talks about giving birth. No, there are no indecent pictures and no extremely gory details, but if you find this sort of thing disgusting, just skip to the next post. Although as I'm sure most parents would agree, after having a baby, almost nothing seems gross.
I had Lily naturally. And it gets even more radical than that - I didn't even have her in a hospital, and I did a water birth! You may think I am crazy if you want, and I won't be offended. Maybe I am crazy. But it worked out great for us.
Why did we decide on all this unconventional hippie-like extremeness? First, I don't like hospitals. I associate them with sick people and diseases and all sorts of unhappiness - not the place I wanted a wonderful event like my daughter's birth to take place. Yes, I know the labor and delivery wards in hospitals are better than they used to be, but that didn't seem to make a dent in my stubborn aversion to them. It is also true that there are infections periodically contracted in hospitals that are not found elsewhere, like MRSA, which I did NOT want anywhere near me or my baby, since several people I know have gotten it after giving birth.
Second, when we moved here, I had some misgivings about having a baby in a place where I knew essentially nobody (we have made some friends since then, don't worry!), and I felt like I would need a lot more support with my baby than a doctor usually gives. So we found a great midwife nearby who has really been an amazing resource. Instead of 10 minutes, she spent an hour with us at every appointment. I asked her every question I could think of during our appointment, and texted her numerous other questions outside of our appointments. She even made a house call to visit me several days after the birth.
Finally, the biggest reason we chose to have Lily naturally is that we feel like it was better for her and for me. I didn't want meds being pumped into her, making her lethargic at birth. I feel that these can have lasting effects. For me, I really did not want to have a C-section. Of course, I would not object in an emergency, but I feel that they are performed much too often in hospitals. The national C-section rate is 32% in the U.S., whereas fewer than 10% of births attended by my midwife (who has overseen hundreds of births over the past 30 years) end up being transported too the hospital. Of course the C-section rate in hospitals is higher in part because all high-risk births must happen there, but since less than 10% of pregnancies are high risk, this does not account for much of the difference.
I feel that much of this difference is because of over-medicalization of birth and problems caused by the drugs routinely used in hospitals. Pitocin, for example (which is used in over 80% of U.S hospital births), creates contractions that are stronger than normal, which can lead to fetal distress. In addition, a cervix that is being forced to open before it is ready can sometimes become swollen, which stops progression and often leads to a C-section. I have had numerous friends who have told me about their C-sections which were performed simply because they weren't progressing. I did not want to have to deal with that. This article describes some of the reasons I chose not to have an epidural: http://www.adjustbacktohealth.com/articles/aa332.htm.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think that all hospital birth procedures are necessarily bad or that C-sections don't save many lives that would otherwise be lost. But I just didn't feel that was the best option for us.
There were trade-offs, however. Obviously, it was hard. I was up most of the night before Lily was born with false contractions. My water broke at 4 am, and regular contractions began immediately. We arrived at the birth center at 7 am. I had spent A LOT of time practicing relaxation techniques, and with focus, I stayed somewhat comfortable until the early afternoon. But at some point, it became all I could do to remember to breathe, let alone breathe deeply and slowly. At about 4:00, I couldn't stand the suspense, and had Debbie, my midwife check my dilation, and I was at a 7 (I wanted to avoid checking if possible, since this introduces bacteria which could lead to infection if labor stops for a while or is delayed).
What a relief! It was nice to know that we were getting somewhere, although I am glad I didn't know then that it would still be almost 5 hours before it would be over. Meeting my baby just seemed like an added bonus at that point; all I could think about was "PLEASE GET THIS OVER WITH ASAP!" Over the next few hours, Adam was very wonderful and supportive, and I was not so wonderful. I yelled various things at him such as, "You did this to me!" and "Next time you get to do this part!" He readily agreed, and also made a number of promises, such as changing ALL of Lily's diapers (that didn't last too long). He was very supportive and kept telling me that I was doing great and getting close, and I kept insisting that he was lying.
But eventually, when I honestly thought it was never going to end, I started pushing. My midwife told me to slow down so I wouldn't tear, so I tried to hold things back. At one point, she let me feel the top of Lily's head, and I started to cry. That was my baby! I couldn't believe it - she was actually real! Then I was motivated. But when I finally pushed her out, it was the strangest experience of my life. Was that purple round thing in the water really my baby's head? And then, was that alien-looking thing with arms stretched out in zombie-fashion really my baby? It was surreal . . . not exactly what I had envisioned so many times during the previous nine months.
But then it was wonderful. I couldn't believe how much love I felt felt for this tiny little person. And suddenly my understanding of God's love for us expanded. I loved my daughter not for anything she had done, or because of any favorable character trait, skill, or talent. I simply loved her, and still love her, because she is mine, just as I know Heavenly Father loves all of His children. What an amazing thing to experience! I had no idea being a parent would be so beautiful.
Lily was completely alert, calm, and wide-eyed when she was born, and did not cry, except when the midwife made her cry a little in order to clear her airways. She was wide awake for several hours before sleeping, and stared at me with a piercing gaze from the moment we took her out of the water.
Now. I know what you are probably thinking: "Giving birth in a tub of water?! That sounds disgusting! I wouldn't want to be sitting in a pool of blood and nastiness!" Well, I wouldn't either! It was actually quite clean. There was almost no blood until well after she was born, and by then the tub was drained. (It was such a nice Whirlpool tub; man I want one of those at my house!)
I had some frustrating complications afterwards. Fortunately, and I hope because of lots of preparation, I did not tear. But I did have some retained placenta, which was a problem, and I lost a lot of blood so I was dizzy and could hardly sit up. At one point, because of a slight misunderstanding, my midwife said she was just going to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital. But then she realized things weren't as bad as she thought, so I didn't have to go (thank heaven!). Some pitocin resolved the retained placenta, and I started feeling better. There were some other issues that I won't describe, but I ended up having to stay awake almost all night. I was so tired!
We took Lily home the following evening. After several days at home, I noticed an intense pain in the area of my right rib. My ribs had seemed bruised around the time of Lily's birth, so I assumed one was broken. But after several weeks of no improvement, and some online research, I realized that it was gallbladder pain.
So now, after 7 weeks, I am doing a gallbladder and liver cleanse with the hopes that it will be an adequate solution to my affliction. It certainly seems to have worked - I feel MUCH better. Again, call me radical, but I am not willing to have surgery if I don't have to, plus I don't think removing your organs is generally a good idea. I think God knew what He was doing when He put them in there!
I didn't expect to still be resolving issues from giving birth almost two months later, but it is all worth it to have our precious Lily. Sometimes it makes me cry just to look at her, I love her so much. I felt for a long time as we were trying to get pregnant that a little girl was waiting to come to our family. I am so grateful that she is finally here! I do hope, however, that the next time around is a little easier! Supposedly, the first time is the hardest by far, but I guess I will have to find out (someday!). I'll cross my fingers.
