Exciting News!!

Announcement! Actually, two announcements (twice the fun!):

First, we are having another baby! Yes, Lily is going to become a big sister in April, and she is very excited about it. She frequently pats my tummy and says "Baby come out y hold you." Then we have to explain that the baby is not big enough yet, but that she can hold it when it does come out. I am fifteen weeks along, so we have a ways to go. Maybe that's a good thing because I'm going to need all the time I can get to prepare for chasing two little munchkins around this place. I hope I don't go crazy! But we are very excited and can't wait to meet our sweet little #2!

Let me also say that I know it is so hard for all those of my friends and family who have struggled to have children, and I am so sorry! It is difficult for me to share this happy news, knowing how hard it is for some to hear it. My heart goes out to you. Adam and I were in that position for only one year, and I know that is not very long, but it was long enough to know that it hurts. I wish I could somehow share this blessing, but that is not possible, so I will continue to pray for you regularly.

The second piece of happy news is that my dad is getting married! Okay, this is not news for many of you since he got engaged at the end of August, and is getting married in less than two weeks. But it is still so exciting! He is getting married to a wonderful woman who lives in Orem, Utah. She is an elementary school teacher, a fun and beautiful person, plays the piano very well, and has never been married before (no, she is not in her 20s or 30s, in case you were wondering. She is almost the same age as my dad). I am so excited for her! I feel that this is a wonderful opportunity for our family to provide her with the chance to be a wife and grandmother, even though she will never have children of her own, and of course my dad will be much better off with a wife. And Lily needs a grandma who can be here for her physically, so I think it is going to work out great.

Of course, everyone I have told has asked if I feel okay about it. You can probably tell from the previous paragraph that I am happy about this occasion. Personally, I feel that if my dad stayed single forever, of course it wouldn't bring my mom back and he would just be miserable and lonely all the time. Getting married is not going to make my mom any more gone than she already is. Don't get me wrong; I really miss her a lot and I know he still does too. He does not love my mom any less because he is getting married to someone else. I just feel like he has something to be happy about now in between his moments of being very sad, instead of being sad all the time.

That being said, I recognize that not everyone in my family probably feels the same way as I do about this. And that is okay. Everyone deals with grief differently, and if this feels like moving on too quickly, that is perfectly valid. But I do feel that our family needs a "mother-type figure" and that in the end, it will be the best thing for all of us. We will just need to make sure to keep my mom's memory alive and remember that she is just as much a part of our family as she ever was. She is still close in spirit, and I know she is happy for my dad.

So our family will be getting a little bigger in the near future! We are excited about these big changes.

As for some every-day kinds of news, Lily is as cute and funny as ever. She frequently wants to sing the "Happy Clappy Song" (If You're Happy and You Know It). She loves her Book of Mormon board book and calls is Book-it Mornin'. She can count to ten, and always counts all the way to ten, regardless of how many items there actually are to count. She loves to wear her "pa-pack" (backpack), and will put it on and say "Bye-bye, see later!" and then go pretend to put her toy key in the door lock as if she's headed off to school like her daddy.

Lily has been telling me about her dreams lately. One morning, she woke up and said, "Jesus help man so sick feel all better." I asked her if she had a dream about Jesus helping a sick man and she said yes. After that afternoon's nap, she woke up talking about flying in an airplane. And the next day, as I was trying to wake her up, she said with her eyes still closed, "I don't like bandaid." Probably the result of a traumatic visit to the doctor's office.

Lily loves singing primary songs when I play, and frequently asks to "play plee-nano". She then wanders around the house singing bits of the songs at the top of her lungs, which is hilarious. Whenever we ask her a question (and she doesn't scream NO!), she will respond, "Oh! Yes." Lily is very sad that the season for picking "black-blayas" is over. And for some reason, she enjoys football, and periodically requests to "Watch fip-ball game."

It is somewhat bittersweet to know that the time I have alone with Lily is limited. I know it will be hard on her to not be the center of attention. But I'm so grateful for all the time we've spent together, and I won't love her any less just because there is another little one around. Hopefully she appreciates the playmate.

Grateful for the Temple

I am grateful for the temple. I am not intending to write a long discourse on all the reasons why, although I could do that. But I have just felt so much gratitude for it lately, since Lily keeps bringing that sacred place to the forefront of my mind.

We were able to visit the Portland Temple at the end of last month. Normally we go every month, but because of the play we were in, we were not able to go in July. So it had been a while. We always take Lily since we don't have anyone to watch her for the six hours it takes to get there and back. But I don't mind. We take turns and it works out. It will be a little harder when the rain starts pouring incessantly for months on end, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

The day we went happened to be the first Saturday the temple had been open since a three-week long closure during August. Naturally, this meant that there were literally vast hoards of wedding guests and many pairs of starry-eyed brides and grooms roaming the temple grounds. Lily and I had fun looking at all of the brides in pretty white dresses.

I told her "Lily, they just got married."
Lily: Ma-yad.
Me: Yes, they got married in the temple, just like mommy and daddy.
Lily: Ma-yad in da tam-po.
Me: Yes, and because Mommy and Daddy got married in the temple, we can be a family forever! Lily, do you know who else got married in the temple? Papa and Nana got married in the temple. And so did Grandpa and Grandma.
We then went through lists of all our relatives who had gotten married in the temple, and Lily was very excited. Of course then she listed Daniel (my brother) and Tyler (Adam's brother), and we talked about how they (and Travis, Adam's other brother) were going to get married in the temple someday.
And then she said the most adorable thing: "Lily married in the temple some-day."
Me: Lily, you want to get married in the temple someday?
Lily: Yes!

Of course this brought tears to my eyes. I know she doesn't really understand what that means. But she knows it is something special and happy, and something she wants to do to be like the people she loves so much in her family. I can't think of many goals I would prefer her to have. Since then I have thought a lot about how impactful these early experiences can be on little children. I believe that they understand more than we can tell, and that they can feel the Spirit even at such a tender young age. Lily may not comprehend the importance of her goal, but she now has that goal in the back of her mind - to get married in the temple someday. She has repeated that statement many times since our visit to the temple, and it's clear that it made an impression on her mind. I hope that this positive encounter will be a foundation for future experiences that can lead to a life of temple worthiness, and to the concrete goal of temple marriage.

Lily has also reminded me of my gratitude for the temple in another, more spontaneous way. She keeps bringing me my phone and asking me to call Grandma for her.

Of course this is hard for me. I always explain to her that we can't call Grandma because Grandma died and now she is with Jesus in heaven. I try to tell her that she can talk to Grandma if she wants, but we can't call her on the phone. One day, she was so insistent that I finally just looked up a video of my mom's radio show on youtube and let her watch it for half an hour. It's hard that she doesn't understand. I honestly didn't think she would remember my mom long enough to be able to talk about her. I know Lily's memories are probably indistinct, but the fact that she feels enough connection to my mom to want to talk to her on the phone is very significant to me.

It is so sweet to hear her say "Lily loves Grandma" when she sees a picture of my mom. The knowledge that Lily's relationship with my mom was cut so short has been one of the hardest parts of losing her. Almost every time Lily talks about her it makes me cry. Then of course Lily gets worried and comes to give me a hug and says "Mommy happy. Mommy happy!" She doesn't like it when I cry.

But I am always comforted by the knowledge that my mom is close by. Even though we can't be with her, she can experience these sweet moments with Lily, and I am so grateful. I don't know what I would do without that knowledge. The understanding that we can be together again, and that Lily can develop the relationship that was ended too soon, is more comforting to me than anything else.

So I am grateful for the temple. It is the source of so much of the happiness in my life, and a source of comfort for my sorrow. I feel so blessed to live in a time when we have access to abundant temples around the world. I am grateful that my parents were married in the temple. And I am grateful that Lily has started to catch the vision of what a beautiful part of her life the temple can be someday.

Christmas and So Much More

Well, it's been a while, but for good reason. The past two months have been INCREDIBLY busy! We went to visit my family in Utah for Christmas, which was very fun. We also got to see Adam's family. Lily had a lot of fun with her grandparents, aunts and uncles, her cousin Amelia, and ESPECIALLY the cats and dog at my parents' house. She is a super-fan of cats and dogs, and chasing kittens around pushed her to complete confidence in walking. We went sledding, visited temple square, tromped around in the snow, visited friends, shoveled A LOT, and just had a great time. Here are some pictures from our trip:

Chocolate face! Lily takes after her Nanna in her affinity for CHOCOLATE!

This was Lily's first experience with snow. She was much more impressed with the dog than with the snow, however.

Lily and Daddy exercising on Grandpa's rowing machine:

Sledding with Nanna and Daddy!

Lily and me on the Sunday before Christmas. Isn't she so cute in the dress I made for her? :)

Our visit to temple square:

Christmas Eve with Adam's family:

Lily and her cousin, Amelia had fun dancing and twirling (and sitting on the floor) in their Christmas dresses.

Lily with her Grandpa on Christmas morning:

Visiting with our good friends the Lees.

I stayed in Utah for two weeks after Adam left, which was hard. I hate being apart, but it was for good reason. My mom has been quite sick from the treatments she is doing for breast cancer, and she really can't be alone. She needed someone to be there to take care of her, and I was the most available person for the job. I think my parents really loved having Lily there for a while. 

It was hard to watch my mom struggling with her health, but at the same time, I have not been burdened with worry about her. Since she was diagnosed with cancer four years ago, I have always felt peace about it. My dad has given her multiple blessings, and all say she will fully recover, and I have complete faith that it will happen. In all the years I was growing up, my dad never gave a blessing that did not come to pass, regardless of how small or miraculous. I know he takes the priesthood power seriously, and I know the Lord makes good on His promises. Even if my mom does not recover, however, the peace I have felt so far has been reassuring to me that God can grant us peace and comfort even in difficult circumstances. It was actually wonderful to be there with her and take care of her when she has dedicated so many years of her life to taking care of others, between raising her children and helping people improve their lives through her therapy practice. I love my parents so much and am grateful for the opportunity to spend a few weeks with them, since it will be many months until I see them again.

Here are a few more pictures from our time in Utah during January. Lily really came to love her aunt Lisa, who doted on Lily during our visit.

Lily also came to love Kitty, my family's cat, but unfortunately the affection was not returned. Kitty's attention to Lily consisted only of some growls and a few scratches! Ouch!

Love you so much Grandpa and Grandma! Thanks to all our friends and family for a wonderful Christmas and a fun visit!

Magical Sewing Machine + Pictures

I have a wonderful aunt who generously thought of me last summer when she bought a new sewing machine, and gave me her old one. This has really been quite a blessing. Of course, I thought it would be fun to have a sewing machine, but it was also an answer to prayers lately. We have been trying everything possible to reduce our budget and postpone the looming necessity of taking out student loans, and gifts have been the hardest area to stay within our budget. This is definitely my fault. What can I say? I like giving people stuff. :) 

I had thought for a few months that if I just had a sewing machine, I could make gifts instead of buying them. Yes, I know it is possible to make gifts without a sewing machine, but it has been a struggle for me to come up with crafty gifts that people would actually appreciate and use. Of course we didn't have money for a sewing machine, so I figured that was not a realistic option, but I kept praying to figure out ways to save more money. And then (bling!) a sewing machine magically appeared! Isn't it great when God answers our prayers my making stuff magically appear on your doorstep? (Okay actually, my aunt brought it to a family reunion, but it felt magical to me.)

I should also mention that I am not very good at sewing. My daydreams went something like: "I wish I had a sewing machine because after I learn to use it I will quickly and effortlessly whip out amazing homemade gifts for all my friends and family and save tons and tons of money and we won't have to go into debt to complete the fourth college degree of our married lives. Hooray!" Needless to say, it hasn't solved all our financial woes, and my first few sewing projects were anything but quick or effortless, but I am pressing on and becoming not-quite-as-bad-of-a-seamstress-as-I-was-before.

Here is one of the first gifts I made with my new money-saving gift-making machine/toy. It is just a simple burp cloth for a dog-loving friend of mine who is expecting, but since I made it out of a never-used dish towel and some scraps I had leftover from Adam's kilt, it was free! (And yes, in case you are wondering, my husband is obsessed with kilts. He says it is because of some bit of Scottish heritage, but I think it's really because at some level he just has the need to wear a man-skirt.)

I also made this Christmas card holder for my mom and a friend, from a table runner I got at the dollar store.

And I also used it to make Lily's Christmas dress. This project was obviously much more challenging, and it's a good thing my mother-in-law arrived in time to save the day. I actually finished it myself the afternoon before she arrived, but some of the inner workings of the dress were less than ideal, so she graciously took out a few seams and fixed them for me. Now the dress might actually last until Christmas. She also helped me figure a rough pattern for the second dress, which I made for Lily's cousin, Amelia. But I actually made that one all by myself. I was so proud! :) Amelia's dress is on the left; Lily's is on the right.

And, just for the grandparents, here is a picture of Lily eating a piece of toast:

And Lily walking:

And Lily "talking on the phone":

And I just think this one is cute (In case you are wondering what Lily is doing, she is stealing a bottle of aspirin from another baby who was playing with it. Real safe, I know)

And now it's December so happy Christmas season! Yay I love Christmas! 

Newsflash: Milestones and Memories

This is a newsflash cause I gotta make it quick! Lily has become kinda high-maintenance lately, so I don't have much time for anything! Here is some of our recent news:

• Lily is rolling over and sitting up mostly by herself
• She has one tooth! It is just coming in, but it is very sharp (watch out mommy!).
• Lily began eating solids this week. She is not a big fan of rice cereal, but she LOVES applesauce. She keeps grabbing the spoon and shoving it in her mouth and then grinning as she "chews".
• Lily has learned how to turn light switches on and off by herself (if I hold her in front of the switch). She thinks it is the most hilarious game ever.

Also, my mom & grandma came to visit for mother's day weekend and we took a 4-generation girls-only trip up to Victoria, British Columbia to visit Butchart Gardens. It was very fun, beautiful, memorable, and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. Here are some pictures from their visit.

Lily wanted to look at and touch all the flowers. Unfortunately she also wanted to rip the petals off and cram them in her mouth, so we had to limit the amount of tactile experience.

Lily enjoys looking at mirrors at least as much as flowers.

Lily enjoyed petting a dog we met on the ferry ride back from Victoria.