We were able to visit the Portland Temple at the end of last month. Normally we go every month, but because of the play we were in, we were not able to go in July. So it had been a while. We always take Lily since we don't have anyone to watch her for the six hours it takes to get there and back. But I don't mind. We take turns and it works out. It will be a little harder when the rain starts pouring incessantly for months on end, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
The day we went happened to be the first Saturday the temple had been open since a three-week long closure during August. Naturally, this meant that there were literally vast hoards of wedding guests and many pairs of starry-eyed brides and grooms roaming the temple grounds. Lily and I had fun looking at all of the brides in pretty white dresses.
I told her "Lily, they just got married."
Lily: Ma-yad.
Me: Yes, they got married in the temple, just like mommy and daddy.
Lily: Ma-yad in da tam-po.
Me: Yes, and because Mommy and Daddy got married in the temple, we can be a family forever! Lily, do you know who else got married in the temple? Papa and Nana got married in the temple. And so did Grandpa and Grandma.
We then went through lists of all our relatives who had gotten married in the temple, and Lily was very excited. Of course then she listed Daniel (my brother) and Tyler (Adam's brother), and we talked about how they (and Travis, Adam's other brother) were going to get married in the temple someday.
And then she said the most adorable thing: "Lily married in the temple some-day."
Me: Lily, you want to get married in the temple someday?
Lily: Yes!
Of course this brought tears to my eyes. I know she doesn't really understand what that means. But she knows it is something special and happy, and something she wants to do to be like the people she loves so much in her family. I can't think of many goals I would prefer her to have. Since then I have thought a lot about how impactful these early experiences can be on little children. I believe that they understand more than we can tell, and that they can feel the Spirit even at such a tender young age. Lily may not comprehend the importance of her goal, but she now has that goal in the back of her mind - to get married in the temple someday. She has repeated that statement many times since our visit to the temple, and it's clear that it made an impression on her mind. I hope that this positive encounter will be a foundation for future experiences that can lead to a life of temple worthiness, and to the concrete goal of temple marriage.
Lily has also reminded me of my gratitude for the temple in another, more spontaneous way. She keeps bringing me my phone and asking me to call Grandma for her.
Of course this is hard for me. I always explain to her that we can't call Grandma because Grandma died and now she is with Jesus in heaven. I try to tell her that she can talk to Grandma if she wants, but we can't call her on the phone. One day, she was so insistent that I finally just looked up a video of my mom's radio show on youtube and let her watch it for half an hour. It's hard that she doesn't understand. I honestly didn't think she would remember my mom long enough to be able to talk about her. I know Lily's memories are probably indistinct, but the fact that she feels enough connection to my mom to want to talk to her on the phone is very significant to me.
It is so sweet to hear her say "Lily loves Grandma" when she sees a picture of my mom. The knowledge that Lily's relationship with my mom was cut so short has been one of the hardest parts of losing her. Almost every time Lily talks about her it makes me cry. Then of course Lily gets worried and comes to give me a hug and says "Mommy happy. Mommy happy!" She doesn't like it when I cry.
But I am always comforted by the knowledge that my mom is close by. Even though we can't be with her, she can experience these sweet moments with Lily, and I am so grateful. I don't know what I would do without that knowledge. The understanding that we can be together again, and that Lily can develop the relationship that was ended too soon, is more comforting to me than anything else.
So I am grateful for the temple. It is the source of so much of the happiness in my life, and a source of comfort for my sorrow. I feel so blessed to live in a time when we have access to abundant temples around the world. I am grateful that my parents were married in the temple. And I am grateful that Lily has started to catch the vision of what a beautiful part of her life the temple can be someday.
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